Having posted 2 rants on this issue in the last few days, I am already feeling better about this issue and writing it out has also started help me understand that the problem does not lie with me but with Emma. One of the things that has become very important to me in the last few years, is being honest and consistent in the way I communicate to other people. As I feel I had a problem with this in the past as I tend to be a much more internal person and therefore have troubles trying to convey who I really am and what I really think to people. Because of this I tend to accept what people say to me and show a non-commital form of agreement, rather than show my true opinion. This can lead to confusion and people feel as though I keep things from them. So I have been trying to work on being able to communicate and connect with people in a more honest and consistent manner. It's hard sometimes to find words to convey what you truely mean if your not used to being verbal about your true feelings.
Anyhow, I feel writing this stuff will also help me in my quest of improving my communication skills.

Well the next episode in this saga continues:

After the episodes I described in my previous posts, we stopped talking in a social way and started only communicating when necessary. I thought it would end there, especially as I was already looking for another job, within the company and had decided it was my time to move on. I had been in the job almost 2 years and knew a substantial amount. I had obtained several skills and taught myself some others, I'd also received a glowing performance review and knew that I was in a good place to apply for a new job within the company. Luckily for me 2 positions became avaliable within my department around that time, one for a manager role and the other for a business analyst role. I knew people were discussing which one I would apply for, but I kept my decision quiet and played the whole thing down as I did not want to have to have the extra stress of being watched through the whole application and interviewing process.

However, these sort of things never remain secret for long and of course the rumour went round that I applied for the business analyst role, as did 5 other people from our department. We under went an initial test, during which 2 people were eliminated from the interview round. Then we had our interviews and for 2 weeks after we were told nothing. There were 2 positions avaliable for which 3 of us were interviewed. Finally one Friday afternoon I was chatting with 2 people from my team and my manager walks up and calls me to an office for an impromptu meeting. The 2 people I was speaking to did indeed realise what the meeting was about. I was told that I got the job, however neither of the other 2 candidates were accepted, however they were not going to be told yet so I needed to keep quiet about it. I agreed full heartedly that they should not hear from me that I had the job and definately not that they did not get the job.

So when I returned to the team I acted as though I was let down to the 2 people who realised I had been called to discuss the job. Emma overheard the conversation and spent the next few days boasting to some of our team members that someone had been turned down for the business analyst job.

A month later we announced to the team/department that I had accepted the position and was going to be moving to the role.

During that month I kept my distance and did not speak to Emma, as I just wanted to move on and forget about our differences. I felt then as I feel now that we have nothing to compete against each other as she is a very beautiful, slim, intelligent women whos dresses in expensive, fashionable clothes. Whereas I'm quite plump, hate shopping and hence wear the same clothes frequently and am not very social. I do however treat myself to the occasional extravangant item, which leads to the next event.

I own the gold Dolce Gabbana Motorola phone, which is very guady. When you switch this thing on or off it calls out Dolce Gabbana very loudly. The one evening after six o'clock, after most people had gone home, I switch on my phone. It called out it's annoucement and I hear one of my colleagues ask who's phone was that. Emma replies It's not mine, I would not have such a hooker phone.

I could have got up and pulled her weave off of her head, but instead I held my tongue and let it go, but I regret it now. That night she let open the doors for me to find out more about her life from the collegue she made this comment to as that collegue also found it an uncalled for comment.

I knew this information before, but the way the colleague explained it to me I could never have suspected just how far someone would go for their hunger for money. Emma, who is a recently divorced 27 year old women is now living with a 60 something rich jewish man. He has 2 children nearly her age and she is living the high life off of his money. She has taken up an assortment of different hobbies just so she can hobnob with the rich crowd ( sailing, flying lessons, tennis, golf etc). Somehow she has also managed to have this guy write her into his will so that if he dies, she will inhieret a holiday house he own in Switzerland.

At work, she spends her days trying to network with anyone who she meets. Her thing is offering to buy them lunch and she will never go to lunch without her note pad. She signs up for any event/organisation that she feels might help her meet the people she needs to meet to get where she needs to get in life. She is determined to move on up and she has stepped all over people in order to try and do so.

So here I will leave this entry, as I have strayed from the path a little. I question myself if this is how people get to the top? Is this how people make lots of money? Is Emma going to succeed in life and the rest of us going to fail because we're not willing to go that extra mile? Do people admire people like this? Should I admire her, or pity her?
I guess this is what I am trying to figure out in my own head.